Brock Plays Guitar, Sings in Spanish and Draws MORE Funny Pictures

 ¡Hola Amigos!

Pshh yeah no big deal it's week 4 and I'm basicallymente fluento en español.

And NOW a little bit about my experience with the online Missionary Training Center! (Which I will call the MTC from now on cuz that's too hard to spell over and over again.)

In missions we missionaries get paired up into companionships, and those companionships get grouped into districts which stay together throughout the entire MTC. My district is the best.

No, seriously. I don't know why God decided to land me in the best group in the MTC but here I am, shocked after every lesson thinking "Where did these people COME from?!" They all have so much enthusiasm for their work, you can see it just in the way they speak and smile and holy cow you just have to see it for yourself because I bet this group of missionaries is unlike any group of 18-20 yr olds you've met ever. They're all super smart, super motivated, and I'm convinced they're all going to be world leaders or something because with the kind of character this crew possesses there's nothing they can't do.

My companion is freakin awesome. His last name is Garcia, and no he's not a native Latino although everyone we teach makes sure to ask him that right away with a raised eyebrow and confused hand gestures as if to say "Which one of your ancestors betrayed their culture and didn't teach you Español??"

But naw for real, he's the best. I'm very grateful to have a diligent companion like him who gets up every morning to study the scriptures with me in spanish, shares profound insight into whatever topic we come across, and reminds me what we're supposed to be doing in breakout rooms because it's the 11th time Hermana Murua split us up and I still have no idea what what's going on.

Oh he's a professional artist too. And a songwriter. Super talented guy.

I'm not going to get too deep into any spiritual thoughts or anything like that with you this week because I don't want to accidentally turn this into a book like my last email (*cough), but I WILL leave you with a four minute video which is super sweet and, I dunno, might make you want to hug everyone you see and say "I LOVE YOU MAN, I PROMISE I'LL NEVER EVER STEAL YOUR SHOES" after watching it.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2009-01-0001-gordon-hinckley-lessons-i-learned-as-a-boy?lang=eng

You watched it right? Good. I promise you couldn't have spent the last four minutes of your life doing anything better than watching that video.

Our district has about a million inside jokes and memes already, which I would totally share with you but — yanno — they wouldn't be funny out of context. But there are a couple of funny stories and pictures I CAN share with you just in case I've managed to keep the attention of any straggling readers.

- There's a word in Spanish that we use a lot when we pray. That word is "pido" which means "I ask". There is another word which sounds a lot like it, "pedo", but it means something totally different.

One of our elders just found out a couple days ago that he's been saying "fart" every time he gives the opening or closing prayer.

- There was one class where everyone got split up into breakout rooms in Zoom for a while. My companion and I finished our tasks quickly, so we started drawing these immaculate pictures of people on the whiteboard and pasting quotes by them. I'll only share the one we made of me because I think it would be rude to share anyone else's portrait without their permission. Seriously they're THAT good.

- Aight so this story isn’t really funny it’s kinda cool actually but the SECOND DAY EVER in the MTC we were talking about destroying our comfort zones as missionaries and I told one of our instructors that the scariest thing I could probably ever do is sing a solo in front of people. I’d never done it, and never would. Then she dropped something super wise-sounding in her Mexican accent like “if you get that out of the way in the MTC then you won’t fear anything on your mission”. Then my brain exploded and I was like holy cow you’re right. Well I always wanted to learn how to play the guitar so I told her yanno I think I’ll give that a try too. Two weeks later I dropped a video on Facebook of me singing in Spanish and playing the guitar and it wasn’t amazing, my pronunciation was probably trash but ya know what? It felt SO GOOD to do something that scary that I didn’t even care.

There’s something empowering about doing stuff that’s difficult and stretches you. I think that’s because ultimately the whole reason

we’re here is to grow,

and we can only do that if we’re always looking for ways to get outside of ourselves and break that shell of mediocrity which threatens to keep us where we’re at.

That's it for this week! I love you and wish you all the best,

Elder Johnson

1. Masterpiece

2. Comrade Johnson

3. Our boi Paul

4. Snooze

5. Doppelgänger 

6. Halloween

DESTROY THIS MESSAGE

Buenos dias.

Welcome to the top secret underground missionary email list.

First, it's important for you to understand that the contents of all future correspondences will include details both funny and gruesome from Elder Johnson's service in the mission field for the next two years. Read at your discretion. These messages will be sent once a week on Wednesday at exactly 0500 hours. After reading, you are asked to destroy any evidence of contact. Your life may depend on it.

Hey, I'm just trying to keep things interesting. The most exciting things most folks get in their email these days are school announcements and Bath and Body promotions.

Last you heard, I was heading to some country in the continent of Mexico. What's up with that? Brock just referred to himself as "Elder Johnson". Bro he's like 12, there is NOTHING elderly about that guy.

Allow me to ease your troubled mind, dear reader.

I am now a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Ever heard of The Book of Mormon? Read it? Seen the guys in white shirts and black name-tags perform in the musical? Yeah, I'm one of those guys now. Except I'm no actor from a satire, I'm the real deal. (Though my vocal talent pales in comparison to Elder Price's).

The next two years of my life will be spent serving others and inviting people to learn about Christ and his gospel as taught in the religious texts known today as the Bible and Book of Mormon. Initially called to the Dominican Republic, current pandemic complications have caused me to be temporarily reassigned to Boise, Idaho. Wherever my assignment is at the time though, I'm going to stay there. I'm not coming home for birthdays, weddings, holidays or anything.

... Well, I think if I got stabbed or run over by a Santo Domingo taxi driver or something I’d probably come home for medical treatment n stuff.

But while I’m a healthy missionary I'm kind of supposed to set aside as much as I can from my regular life so that I can remain focused on sharing the gospel and staying in tune with the Holy Ghost. Instead of going to school, watching movies or hanging out with friends, the majority of my time will be spent walking around teaching people about Jesus Christ. Oh, also I'm gonna be doing that in Spanish..

There is NO WAY anyone would just sign up for that. Come on Brock, are you crazy?? Did your parents brainwash you or something? Did your church trick you into volunteering for something totally insane?

Maybe.

But for a brainwashed crazy person I feel remarkably... average.

If I was brainwashed I would be set in my purpose like some programmed zombie, right? I would be totally confident in myself and my mission. No room in my reprogrammed brain for doubts, no questions allowed to be asked.

Well, whoever was in charge of turning me into a mindless drone needs to get fired cuz they screwed up BIG time. I am absolutely not a hundred percent self-assured. I still ask questions, and I'm still looking for answers.

I do know one thing for sure, though. I have a brain. You have one too.

Yeah, I know. It’s crazy. Try not to freak out.

Well... no, I haven't seen it. But I know it's there because I couldn't exist without it.

See, the brain is this incredible organ that sits inside our skulls. It runs all day, every day. It even runs at night. It solves problems, feels emotions and somehow turns input from our senses into information which we can think about through the mysterious medium of human consciousness.

Our brains are pretty awesome, if you think about it. Which you just did.

Which means your brain is actually capable of thinking about itself.

Woah. That’s some crazy brain-ception stuff right there.

I would invite your brain to participate in a brief self-awareness exercise with me. You may use my own thoughts as a guide, but you might find it more interesting to take this exercise even further on your own.

I know that somehow I exist, and in order for me to exist a whole lot of unlikely things had to happen with exact precision. Elements had to exist. Those elements had to move. Solid masses had to form and grow to the size of PLANETS which are too humongous for our super smart brains to even fathom. Those planets whirl around a chaotic cosmos of innumerable celestial bodies but somehow the one planet that you and I live on happened to fall into orbit around the perfect star, at the perfect distance. This planet had to have the perfect combination of water, carbon, oxygen, whatever the heck makes life possible and...

Well, I think you get the idea.

The fact that we're alive right now is like winning the lottery without even buying a lottery ticket. It's like pooping and then not leaving any racing stripes on the toilet paper afterwards... every single time you poop.

It's not just unlikely. It's practically impossible.

True. Technically it is still possible to chalk up the existence of everything in our universe to chance, however slim that chance might be. But is it really so crazy anymore to entertain the thought that maybe, just maybe, there really is more to the form and function of our universe than we can currently prove with instruments and data alone?

I'm going to quote the Bible. My atheist and agnostic friends, please don't leave me just yet.

Matthew recorded that just before concluding the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus Christ said:

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." (Matthew 7:7)

Hey, regardless of who you believe Jesus was, he makes a pretty bold claim right here. If you will ask, seek and knock – in other words, if you will put in the work – you can know for yourself whether he really is the son of God or just an unusually wise homeless guy who's really good at pulling magic tricks.

"Awe shoot man, I don't need to do all that work to know that humans are just prone to believe in an afterlife and saviors because we're all afraid of dying."

"It's pretty obvious that religion is just around to help societies keep order by promising there's some almighty being ready to reward people for being good."

These arguments do a great job of hypothesizing why people WOULD fabricate religion, but they don't do anything to prove that religion really WAS definitely for sure 100% totally made up by us fancy pants-wearing primates as opposed to being inspired by an actual divine being.

So. You want to know, conclusively, once and for all whether or not God really does exist? You want to know for sure what to do about it if, in fact, He does?

Read the Book of Mormon and Bible with an open mind and heart – and then act on their teachings. After you have done all that you can to learn and apply for yourself the gospel of Jesus Christ, get on your knees in a quiet place, bow your head, and pour out your heart to God.

Tell him how ridiculous you think all of it is, if you'd like. Let him know exactly what you think of people who believe in "miracles" and that kind of stuff.

Say whatever you have to say, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as you tell God that you're ready to continue giving this faith stuff your best effort if it is true. And you mean it.

After concluding the prayer, sit still for a minute. Search your thoughts and feelings for answers. Give God every opportunity to speak to you, and let Him speak for Himself.

Moroni's final words before sealing the record of his people – which would later be known as The Book of Mormon – included this invitation: 

"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him... and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God." (Moroni 10:32)

If you follow Christ, if you really study and apply His teachings the way He invites us to, you will witness so many blessings and miracles that you will be unable to deny the power of God.

Friend, family, it doesn’t matter who I'm talking to right now: I need you to know something.

There isn't just a god. There is a capital G God. And he is your Heavenly Father.

He perceives your thoughts. He knows your desires.

He shakes heaven shouting “HECK YEAH, THAT’S MY KID!” whenever you choose the right and act out of love, even when it’s hard.

He appreciates you more than anyone else can.

He understands you better than anyone else can.

When you’re in pain, His great shoulders quake and He aches to pull you into His embrace.

He loves you more than anyone else can.

But don't take my word for it. Follow Christ and find out for yourself. :)

Your new missionary friend,

Elder Johnson